We want you have fun on our site and tell every friend you know about us until they beg you to "stop talking about this McCain-Nose thing already!"

So, we make these promises to you:

We respect your privacy. We don't use top-secret technology to track who you are, where you are going or where you have been. It's off-the-shelf technology. Not really. Well, maybe a little.

We make our money from the sale of products with our sophomoric little sayings on them. Sometimes, we might also feature adertising. Our promise to you is that the advertising on our site will be unobtrusive and of the highest quality. We will not share your information with our advertisers, or use your information in any way that violates your privacy.

Cookies will be placed on your browser, but don't eat them. We use them simply to help the site be more useful. We won’t follow you or hide in your closet or ask your sister out on a date because of them. Unless she’s cute.

We keep track of statistics about the use of our site. Things like how many visitors we get at 2:00 a.m. on a Saturday, how many people are referred by which search engine and what you had for breakfast. Not really, we don’t know why we said that breakfast thing. We only keep track of what you had for lunch.

If you send us an email or refer us to a friend (Thank You!) or post a comment on one of our bulletin boards or chat rooms that we keep meaning to get around to setting up, that information will be logged, but only to stop abusive jerks. You won’t be spammed by us or any of our partners because of it. Unless you’re one of the abusive jerks.

In reality, our policy is NO SPAM. Not now, not ever. To those of you who are spammers…stop it! We mean it, stop!

After all, we appreciate your support and your interest in these hairbrained schemes we come up with and we don’t want to make you mad.

We want you to stick around.

Sniff...we love you, man.